I do not like Christmas, don't like it at all.
Won't do any shopping, won't go to the mall.
It's lost what little meaning it had to me
Amidst all the bombast and hyperbole.
White Santas, Black Santas - are any Chinese?
How do kids choose from among all of these?
Pressure to spend precious coin I don't own
Just to get a new juicer, or machine for lawn mowin'.
The rush and the pressure, the crowds and the travel
Cause what little composure I have to unravel.
They say there's a war on, but where is the battle?
I'm tired of hearing the commenters prattle.
Some are so offended if offered wrong greeting
They don't seem to realize the season is fleeting.
The New Year comes quickly, then all's back to normal.
Bonhomie is gone -- all are back to bein' horrible.
The traffic, the parties, the food and the drink
It's all just too much, pushing me to the brink.
I can't stand the music, or anything "jingle".
And yet every year there's a new Christmas single.
They cost more on iTunes than when they were plastic.
The lyrics are dopey, the rhythms are spastic.
I'm tired of Christmas - it's shallow and phony.
And once again no one has brought me a pony.