"...it's like Will Rogers, Jean Shepherd and some grumpy Jewish man all rolled into one."

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Quote-idian

"If you take care of your people your people will take care of your customers and your business will take care of itself."
  • That's why we're laying off all our back office staff.

"The remarkable thing is, we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day."
  • For the foreseeable future I'll choose to embrace a negative attitude.

"It's easier to do a job right than explain why you didn't."
  • But the lady at the unemployment office isn't really interested in your explanation.

"There's a way to do it better. Find it."
  • While you're doing that, I'll be sitting back and letting my business take care of itself.

"If everything was perfect, you would never learn and you would never grow."
  • Like, I just learned what the "subjunctive mood" is!

"Believe you can and you're halfway there."
  • Believe you can't and you can skip the trip altogether.

"Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star."
  • NASA vehemently disagrees.

"Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going."
  • 3:30 already? Bye -- see you tomorrow!

"A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others."
  • I was motivated to beat others and HR said I had to attend an anger management seminar, which I have no desire to.

"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground."
  • But maybe first move out from the middle of the sidewalk.

"It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation."
  • That's why, despite the publisher's urging, there was no Moby Dick 2: Ahab's Back!

"Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm."
  • But it's better to start the stroll with a fat wallet, no?

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
  • For example, Trump's lead in the polls.

"Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone."
  • Guess I better put on another pot of coffee.

"A real entrepreneur is somebody who has no safety net underneath them."
  • Killer idea: personal safety nets!

"The number one reason people fail in life is because they listen to their friends, family, and neighbors."
  • Who does that leave to listen to, exactly? 

"You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction."
  • You've got to go to bed with Cialis if you've going to get it up every morning.

"Fortune sides with him who dares."
  • I dare whoever came alongside me and stole my fortune to give it back.

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