"If you take care of your people your people will take care of your customers and your business will take care of itself."
- That's why we're laying off all our back office staff.
"The remarkable thing is, we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day."
- For the foreseeable future I'll choose to embrace a negative attitude.
"It's easier to do a job right than explain why you didn't."
- But the lady at the unemployment office isn't really interested in your explanation.
"There's a way to do it better. Find it."
- While you're doing that, I'll be sitting back and letting my business take care of itself.
"If everything was perfect, you would never learn and you would never grow."
- Like, I just learned what the "subjunctive mood" is!
"Believe you can and you're halfway there."
- Believe you can't and you can skip the trip altogether.
"Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star."
- NASA vehemently disagrees.
"Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going."
- 3:30 already? Bye -- see you tomorrow!
"A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others."
- I was motivated to beat others and HR said I had to attend an anger management seminar, which I have no desire to.
"Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground."
- But maybe first move out from the middle of the sidewalk.
"It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation."
- That's why, despite the publisher's urging, there was no Moby Dick 2: Ahab's Back!
"Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm."
- But it's better to start the stroll with a fat wallet, no?
"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
- For example, Trump's lead in the polls.
"Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone."
- Guess I better put on another pot of coffee.
"A real entrepreneur is somebody who has no safety net underneath them."
- Killer idea: personal safety nets!
"The number one reason people fail in life is because they listen to their friends, family, and neighbors."
- Who does that leave to listen to, exactly?
"You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction."
- You've got to go to bed with Cialis if you've going to get it up every morning.
"Fortune sides with him who dares."
- I dare whoever came alongside me and stole my fortune to give it back.