Bad Sports

“Average players want to be left alone. Good players want to be coached. Great players want to be told the truth.” -- Doc Rivers

• The truth is -- you suck.

“It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up.” -- Vince Lombardi

• And also whether you file a complaint with OSHA.

"A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be." -- Wayne Gretzky

• Where the puck were you yesterday?

"If you have everything under control, you're not moving fast enough." -- Mario Andretti

• This explains our CEO's chaotic leadership style.

"Age is no barrier. It's a limitation you put on your mind." -- Jackie Joyner-Kersee

• Then why do job applications want to know what year I graduated from college?

"It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe." -- Muhammad Ali

• Nevertheless, our dress code still prohibits flip-flops.

“You can’t put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get.” -- Michael Phelps

• But fall asleep just once during a presentation to upper management and next thing you know you’re out on your keister.

“Persistence can change failure into extraordinary achievement.” -- Matt Biondi

• It can also lead to a sexual harassment claim.

“It’s not the will to win that matters—everyone has that. It’s the will to prepare to win that matters.” -- Paul “Bear” Bryant

• It also matters that you prepare your will before you “leave the field”.

“What to do with a mistake: recognize it, admit it, learn from it, forget it.” -- Dean Smith

• Of course, I’m referring to my own mistakes here – one more screw up from you and you’re out on your keister.

“I've learned that something constructive comes from every defeat.” -- Tom Landry

• A pity our shareholders don’t feel the same way.

"Make sure your worst enemy doesn't live between your own two ears." -- Laird Hamilton

• Perhaps you should try using Head & Shoulders.

“It ain't over till it's over.” – Yogi Berra

• Oh, it’s over – pick up your packet from HR on the way out.