"...it's like Will Rogers, Jean Shepherd and some grumpy Jewish man all rolled into one."

Saturday, February 18, 2017

I’m In Charge Here, All Appearances To The Contrary

Hello there, black lady - are you a reporter?
That seems out of order with how things should be.
I said inner cities are bleak, filled with carnage.
(We'll get back to leaks.) What is this "CBC"?

I thought for a moment that you were addressing
The raids where we're picking up hombres so bad.
So what if they're mothers? They should have thought through it
Before having kids who are left behind. Sad!

But anyway, let's get back to your suggestion.
Could you ask your friends when they'd all like to meet?
I figure you know them, because of your color.
When I see a black, you know -- I cross the street.

I'd love to confer with this so-called "black caucus."
I'm happy to meet with them -- it'll be swell!
I'll bring Dr. Carson; you'll bring Frederick Douglass.
We'll talk about how inner cities are hell.

The murder rate - up! It has never been higher.
I even once threatened to shoot someone dead!
Next month we're announcing a brand-new department:
We're calling it "Pre-Crime," which Tom Cruise will head.

My people have told me my win was historic.
Anyone says something else -- that's fake news.
I only know what I am told by Steve Bannon
(who mentioned the Holocaust wasn't just Jews).

The mess I inherited, I'm going to fix it.
Obama and Hillary, they're both to blame.
Ignore all the haters; there really aren't any.
The dishonest press makes them up. That's their game.

I've done more in 4 weeks than others in decades!
My team runs the show like a fine-tuned machine!
The people want vetting, and borders, and tax breaks.
But justice for all -- nope, not that; that's obscene.

I won and I'm here and you'd better accept it.
I'm going to do what I said I would do.
So screw the Resistance, and death to the leakers.
Excuse me now -- Putin's on hold on Line 2.

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