"...it's like Will Rogers, Jean Shepherd and some grumpy Jewish man all rolled into one."

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Parenting Mistakes I *May* Have Made With Our Son

  • I should have told him that our potty-training activity to "point and shoot" at the Cheerios floating in the bowl was limited to just the bathroom.
  • There was probably a better answer when he asked, "Where did I come from?" than showing him the video his mom and I made on our wedding night.
  • Taking him at his word that "baby teeth can grow back" may have cost me an extra $480 in visits from the tooth fairy.
  • Like many young boys, he went through a phase where he wanted to "marry" his mother. Staging a "ceremony" with the two of them was a harmless way to work through that temporary infatuation, but I wish I hadn't agreed to the alimony and child support payments.
  • Just because he said all his friends were doing it, I really shouldn't have let him drive himself to school during second grade.
  • Telling him he was getting old enough to be responsible for cleaning up after himself was the right thing to do. However, giving approval to grab "whatever tools you need" was poor direction, which I realized after he used the pressure washer to tidy up his room.
  • I should have not relied on his say-so that being allowed to skip a grade meant he could stay home for the entire school year.
  • Telling him he was the "man of the house" when I went on a business trip was an effort to impart feelings of maturity and responsibility. However, I wish I'd spoken up when I came home and found a "For Sale By Owner" sign on the front lawn.
  • Giving him sparklers to celebrate the 4th of July and a bunny rabbit at Easter weren't all that risky -- but letting him fly to Cabo for Cinco de Mayo during 7th grade wasn't prudent.
  • I really should have insisted he change the parental control password on the TV remote back to the default setting. I missed an entire season of "The Sopranos" because of that.
  • Looking back on it now, he may have been trying to pull a fast one when he said it made perfect sense to let him download his essay on "The History of Plagiarism" directly from the Internet.
  • Just because he said all his friends were doing it, I really shouldn't have let him take his date to the prom in a helicopter.
  • I think he was being less than truthful when he said all the after-school jobs he sought required application fees and could I front him the cash?
  • I am also suspicious that travel for his senior class trip to Daytona Beach was not via "the space shuttle" and question what my $40,000 ended up really being used for.
  • Has anyone else heard of an online university program that requires enrollees to live in a dorm and be on a meal plan?
  • Just because he said all his friends were doing it, I really shouldn't have let him take out a million-dollar AD&D policy on me, since I could barely afford the premiums. Although I was flattered when, just this week, he expressed his thanks by servicing the brakes on my car.
One mistake I did not make was to collaborate with his mother on producing a loving, bright, funny and generous child. Upon reflection, it might have been poor judgment giving that kid up for adoption...

No comments:

Post a Comment