"...it's like Will Rogers, Jean Shepherd and some grumpy Jewish man all rolled into one."

Sunday, January 11, 2015


Another birthday is here, so let's assess how I've done with my goals since the last one:
  • Get in shape: That shape is "rotund".
  • Read more: The disclaimers that come with my prescriptions go on for pages.
  • Make new friends: First step was to alienate most of my old ones.
  • Travel: Some nights I make as many as three trips to the bathroom.
  • Learn a new language: I now know how to say "mofo" in Armenian.
  • Find something to be thankful for every day: On those mornings when I step into my slippers and don't discover a hairball in them, I am thankful.
  • Love more: Carol is curious where I go on the weekends.
  • Watch less TV: Thank God for streaming services.
  • Get closer to the earth: I've slipped and fallen to the ground several times.
  • Worry less: I'm concerned I haven't made enough progress with this one.
  • Speak truth to power: Stop letting authority figures intimidate me, so I use my cellphone in the library.
  • Embrace failure: Actually, I found this one on Carol's list. No wonder she's been hugging me so much lately.
Years ago I worked at a company where the director was fond of saying, "Every day I can wake up and put both feet on the ground is a good day." His words inspired me to set my expectations at an absolute minimum.

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